Message of the hour from userlame.com:
The first Great Steward, Parrafin the Climber, was employed in King
Chloroplast's kitchen as second scullery boy when the old King met a tragic
death. He apparently fell backward by accident on a dozen salad forks.
Simultaneously the true heir, his son Carotene, mysteriously fled the city,
complaining of some sort of plot and a lot of threatening notes left on his
breakfast tray. At the time, this looked suspicious what with his father's
death, and Carotene was suspected of foul play. Then the rest of the King's
relatives began to drop dead one after the other in an odd fashion. Some
were found strangled with dishrags and some succumbed to food poisoning. A
few were found drowned in the soup vats, and one was attacked by assailants
unknown and beaten to death with a pot roast. At least three appear to have
thrown themselves backward on salad forks, perhaps in a noble gesture of
grief over the King's untimely end. Finally there was no one left in Minas
Troney who was either eligible or willing to wear the accursed crown, and
the rule of Twodor was up for grabs. The scullery slave Parrafin bravely
accepted the Stewardship of Twodor until that day when a lineal descendant
of Carotene's returns to reclaim his rightful throne, conquer Twodor's
enemies, and revamp the postal system.
-- Bored of the Rings, "Harvard Lampoon"
boards > news > nore more cartons.. NORE MORE!
2004.12.31 - 02:40:55 PDT
"Encouraged by a milk industry study that shows children drink more dairy when it comes in round plastic bottles, a growing number of schools are ditching those clumsy paper half-pint cartons many of us grew up with."
i'm mad. i fucking hated those cartons. i never drank my milk because it tasted like cardboard and the teacher would always yell at me. the opening of the cartoon would always get gross and soggy and it made me gag.
i am jealous of these children.
2004.12.31 - 06:06:52 PDT
Bah! When I was a lad we had cartons and we
liked it dammit!
Nowadays these kids won't consume anything unless it comes in a bright plastic container and says '
EXTREME' at least 6 times on the label.
2004.12.31 - 06:08:22 PDT
Wait did I just read the title of this thread right? nore more cartons?
2004.12.31 - 06:51:11 PDT
haha woops... i didn't notice.
i still didnt notice when i was reading your post. i still read it as 'no more cartons'
MY EYES ARE TRICKSEY
and i've always liked plastic bottles better. didn't make the liquid taste like cardboard.
we need a puke smiley.
